Old Fashion Manners

The world round there is a desire for the return of old fashion manners to our everyday lives. Bad manners have crept into our daily behavior as our lives have become increasingly digital, and as a result, impersonal. The fast-paced, digital world, we currently live in has caused us to lose sight of the formalities of personal interaction, much cherished in simpler times. Basic etiquette has been eroded even in situations that call for us to make a good first impression or to be on our best behavior. A recent study conducted by an Irish dating website found that 59 percent of Irish daters consider bad manners a turn off on a first date, meaning that men and women aren’t even trying to make that good first impression when it counts. We’ve forgotten how to try to put our best selves forward and how to show basic respect to those we interact with. We must not forget our roots. The importance is not so much in the action itself, but rather the respect the action signifies.

            Gone are the days when you would see a man stand up when a woman comes to and leaves a table. Last night while dinning with friends, a woman left the table. Not thinking, I stood up as I was raised to do. My friends stared at me with confusion wondering why I was leaving when the meal had just begun. It was then that I realized these old fashion manners, which were so important in years past, had been forgotten as our society has become less personal. And more importantly, the respect behind these actions has been forgotten as well.

            Whether it be standing when a woman leaves a table or holding the door open, these actions are about acknowledging another person’s presence as they come and go from our lives. In this modern society, we are satisfied with a text message or e-mail. We have slowly progressed—or rather regressed—in a world that has become increasingly digital and impersonal.

Prior to the infestation of these digital tools—from computers to cellphones—we had to make an effort to keep in touch with friends. Get-togethers and letters—tasks that required physical effort and a certain adherence to social constructs—were required to keep personal relationships thriving. With the advent of the telephone, maintaining relationships became easier, albeit less personal. Now even talking on the phone is considered by some to be too much of a hassle. Text messaging, e-mail, Facebook, and now even Twitter have become the new, everyday forms of communication. With each new communication technology, the amount of human contact we engage in, as well as the effort we put in to such contact, has dwindled and with it the ability to acknowledge and respect another’s presence in our lives.

            We have even come to the point when these old fashion manners are looked down upon, despite the fact that, at their core, they are just a show of respect. When asked why I had stood up, I answered because a lady had left the table. I was greeted with a sea of bewildered and judgmental looks. My action was perceived as outdated and out of place in this casual gathering.

Despite this judgment from my peers, I believe it was the right and necessary thing to do and I will continue to do it as a sign of respect. Yes, it was how I was raised. These behaviors are ingrained, and ones of which I am proud. These old fashioned manners have been around for centuries, but only recently have we started to judge them as outdated. There is a reason they endured through time and across cultures. Perhaps we should take a moment and ponder this fact, and ask ourselves if we are right in letting technology rewrite the rules of engagement.